There’s this restlessness in my soul. Disappointment. Failure.
I’ve purposed that 2015 will be the year of Grace and Truth, the year I stop lying to myself and actually face the demons I’ve been running away from.
And it hasn’t been pretty.
I’ve failed at my resolves to eat healthier, work out more, love better, and practice submission to the Spirit.
I feel like the solution is to hunker down and try harder. Turn away from the chocolate. Refuse the invitation to go out. Pass up the community meal.
This week has shown me just how desperately I need the Spirit to drill down into the deepest parts of my heart and shine His light on unresolved issues. It’d be easier if I could just give up food altogether, if I could say “no” to meals like alcoholics do vodka. But it’s not that easy.
In His sovereign wisdom, God decided our bodies need food for energy. Simple enough. But then He gave us taste buds to make the experience enjoyable, and He fills the Bible with imagery of feasts and tables ladden with good food and parties that celebrate community. Food is good! And we’ll be feasting in the Kingdom with Jesus at the head of the table.
These past failures make me want to shirk away from the Table. But He says, “Come! You are welcome here. Let me pull up a chair for you at my Table.”
It’s the running away that does me in, whether in my food choices or my relationships. It’s the turning back that brings me home, that restores my soul, that sets things right in my spirit and even in my diet.
He spreads out His hands and says, “I’ve set the table for you. Will you join Me?”
I look up from the silverware to the flower arrangements and finally His face.
And so the process begins of redeeming my relationship with food, learning to view it as a good gift from a loving Father, and sitting down at His Table of grace.
Grace & Truth. The journey has only begun.
This past week, I started on the healthy-living trajectory (lifelong plan, mind you, no more yo-yo dieting) with the Faithful Finish Lines crew. They were kind enough to give me a complementary trial of the program which sounded like just what I needed to get started on my healthy living plans. And wouldn’t you know it, every cell in my being rebelled against tracking food, breaking a sweat, and logging into the FB group to get accountability. But the ladies were more than gracious and cheered me on anyway. And then I was reminded of God’s invitation to join Him at His table, hence this post. If you’re looking for a community of grace-filled women, consider checking them out. (And let them know I sent you! We’ll join His table and learn what it means to eat healthily together.)
This post was featured at Grace & Truth linkup.
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