I’ve seen a disturbing trend recently. Maybe you’ve seen it too.
On the big screen and on our kindles, we’re being sold the lie that in order to have passionate love in marriage, we need to do what hasn’t been done before. We’re told that erotica, pornography, and/or BDSM will banish our low libido. Nothing could be further from the Truth.
God created sex. It was His idea. And He made it G-O-O-O-O-D.
At this point, you may be thinking, “Why are you writing about sex? I thought this blog was to encourage us in our walk with Jesus! What’s sex got to do with it?!”
A lot, actually.
Whether you’re single or married, your sexuality is an integral part of who God created you to be. It’s not meant to be separated from your spirituality; in fact, it’s created to be an expression of it.
It was God’s idea to create men and women to thrill in their spouse, and we see a beautiful picture of that in Song of Solomon. The act of intimacy can be the glue that brings a husband and wife closer together in ways that mirror how Jesus Christ and His Bride will one day be united in marriage as well (see Ephesians 5:31-33).
So if you’ve hit a rut, if you’re thinking, “I’ve got to figure this out. My ceiling just isn’t that interesting…” then keep reading, friend! I’ve got lots of ideas and resources waiting for you!
28 Ways to Ignite Passion in Your Marriage
- Plan a massage night where you each take turns serving the other. (May I suggest Melt, my new fave massage course?)
- Kiss each other every day for 10 seconds or longer (like Ann Voskamp)
- Text him at work to say how much you’re looking forward to that night (here are 365 texts if you need ideas).
- Make your spouse’s favorite dinner.
- Take turns discussing what’s the most frustrating part of your sex life; brainstorm ways to overcome them.
- Think about your spouse throughout the day; focus on what attracts you most to him.
- Memorize Song of Solomon 5:16.
- Create a relaxing environment (think candles, soft music, scented lotion).
- Ditch the romance novels and erotica (and read this instead).
a littleA LOT of skin in the bedroom, while getting ready for bed.
- Write a love note to include in his lunch bag (lipstick lips optional).
- Try something new.
- Pick questions from a premarital book and get to know each other. (My husband and I use this one.)
- Do a Bible study on sex (or go through Passion Pursuit with ladies from your church).
- Dance the night away with your wedding album.
- Plan an adventure date together (here are some ideas to get you started).
- Go to bed earlier.
- Bring the board games into the bedroom and make up new rules.
- Wash each others’ feet.
- Read a book by a Christian author that helps you discover the joys of sex, like this one or this one.
- Ask each other “What’s one thing we’ve never tried but you’d like to?” As long as it’s biblical and beneficial, do it! (For more guidelines on what’s biblical and beneficial, check out this article from Authentic Intimacy.)
- Play Truth or Dare, using questions and dares that are all about the bedroom.
- Pray for each other every day,
- Ask each other what the highlight of your spouse’s day was.
- Discover each other’s love language, and then act on it! (For me, this means romance starts with ironed shirts and packed lunches.)
- Decorate your home with beautiful reminders that your marriage is special.
- Turn off the screens and go for a walk together. Hold hands.
- Look at old photo albums of your dating years and wedding ceremony. Recite your vows again.
Sexual intimacy was created by God and it’s a beautiful thing. Let’s reclaim passion in our marriages, one bedroom at a time.
Consider this a starting point. I’d love to hear what other ideas you come up with!