Good-Bye to My Friend Named Fear {Guest Post}

This is a guest post from one of my mom friends, #write31days buddies, and fear conquerer, Christine Leeb

Her friendship was toxic to me, and yet I didn’t even know her.  She would lie to me, put me down, make me feel badly about myself, and constantly point out my mistakes.  She wouldn’t go away.  She was there when I woke up every morning and when I closed my eyes at night.

She found pleasure in hurting me.  She felt proud at all the ways that she made me stumble and fall throughout my life.

She made me not want to go to birthday parties, hide under the steps to escape my Physical Education class, lock my mom out of the car every day in front of the school, and become ill before every gymnastics meet or band competition.  She made me hurt friendships and family members, have panic attacks, and struggle in my marriage and in motherhood.  She made me doubt my worth, question my faith, and have absolutely no clue about my purpose.  She made me have severe depression and nearly end my life. 

Her Identity Revealed

For 37 years, I didn’t know who she was–this unknown being wreaking havoc in my life.  Then one night in the dark after a major panic attack, I was desperate to hear God’s voice.  I cried out to Him for help.  The Lord answered my cries.  He played my entire life before me like a movie reel pointing out a constant presence…a friendship I had unknowingly formed when I just a little girl sitting on a swing set.  Finally, I saw her.  Finally, I knew who she was.  Finally, I learned her name.

Her name was Fear. 

Maybe you know her too.  She’s friends with a lot of women I’ve learned.

Once I recognized her and my eyes were opened to her destructive ways, I knew I had to break free from her friendship, but I didn’t know how.  Even though she caused nothing but pain and anxiety…doubt and self-loathing…depression and confusion, I couldn’t let her go.  Her presence in my life was all I knew.

There was something about her that was very comforting…very familiar…very safe.

I didn’t know how to live without her!  And to be honest, there was a part of me that didn’t want to let her go.  I know that sounds weird.  Maybe you understand what I’m talking about.

With Fear in my life, I had a reason not to do things that challenged me or made me feel uncomfortable or vulnerable.  She was my excuse for not stretching myself, not growing, not changing, not moving forward–just staying right where I was.  Safe.  Secure.  Silent.  Right where she wanted me to be…doing nothing for the Kingdom of God.  Teaching no one…encouraging no one…inspiring no one.  Writing nothing…saying nothing…sharing nothing.  Not loving…not trusting…and worse, not becoming all that God created me to be nor doing all that God was asking me to do.

Good bye Friend named fear

Even though I recognize her tactics, I’ve continued to wrestle with her.  She has become even more vicious.  It’s like she knows that I am aware of her now so she has to “step up her game.”  She is relentless…always there…always waiting to hurt me and make me cry and doubt myself.  She is always there to suck the life and joy out of my life.  No matter what I do, Fear is always there making me want to pull the covers back over my head and not get out of bed.

What do I do?  Do I just surrender to Fear?  Do I just accept her as a friend that I will never be able to get rid of?

No!  And you shouldn’t either!

How I say good-bye to my friend named Fear…

  • I choose to listen to God’s truth instead of her lies.  I ignore her voice and invite His words to infiltrate my heart and mind.
  • I choose to follow God’s path for my life no matter what–even though Fear’s path may feel more comfortable.  
  • I choose to pray and seek prayer from others who love and support me. 
  • I choose to build my friendship with Jesus every day and remind Fear that she is a powerless friend who has no control over my life.

I keep going.  I keep moving forward one step at a time.  I keep choosing to say good-bye to fear every day or even every minute if I have to.  I keep choosing to put on the armor of God and trusting Him completely with my life.  I keep pulling the covers off of my head every morning, getting out of bed, and saying” Good-Bye Fear!  Lord, my friend, how can I serve You today?”

How has Fear stopped you from doing what God is calling you to do in your life?  What are ways you can say good-bye to your friend Fear?


Free Devotional to help free you from your fears!

Fear is a friend to many women stopping them from leading the lives that God has called them to live. How has fear stopped you?  In this very personal devotional, I will encourage you on your own journey to overcome fear and live your life fearlessly for God!

I would love to give you a FREE copy today, Tuesday, 4/21, and Wednesday, 4/22.

CLICK HERE for your FREE copy!

Blessings and be FEARLESS.




of 3 and has been married for almost 15 years.
She is a speaker, Christian Life Coach, the founder of 4Real Moms, and the author of the devotional In His Light: Facing Fear with Faith, a playful book 22 Ways to Love Your Husband Like a Boyfriend and a fun ebook Best In-Home Date Nights That Don’t Involve the TV.  and the Founder of 4Real Moms.  She is passionate about her faith, family,
friends, and dark chocolate brownies.,