What a great list of ideas! I'm going to use some of these this week. My husband won't know what hit him!

28 Ways to Ignite Passion In Your Marriage


I’ve seen a disturbing trend recently. Maybe you’ve seen it too.

On the big screen and on our kindles, we’re being sold the lie that in order to have passionate love in marriage, we need to do what hasn’t been done before. We’re told that erotica, pornography, and/or BDSM will banish our low libido. Nothing could be further from the Truth.

God created sex. It was His idea. And He made it G-O-O-O-O-D.

At this point, you may be thinking, “Why are you writing about sex? I thought this blog was to encourage us in our walk with Jesus! What’s sex got to do with it?!”

A lot, actually.

Whether you’re single or married, your sexuality is an integral part of who God created you to be. It’s not meant to be separated from your spirituality; in fact, it’s created to be an expression of it.

It was God’s idea to create men and women to thrill in their spouse, and we see a beautiful picture of that in Song of Solomon. The act of intimacy can be the glue that brings a husband and wife closer together in ways that mirror how Jesus Christ and His Bride will one day be united in marriage as well (see Ephesians 5:31-33).

So if you’ve hit a rut, if you’re thinking, “I’ve got to figure this out. My ceiling just isn’t that interesting…” then keep reading, friend! I’ve got lots of ideas and resources waiting for you!

28 Ways to Ignite Passion in Your Marriage

  1. Plan a massage night where you each take turns serving the other. (May I suggest Melt, my new fave massage course?)
  2. Kiss each other every day for 10 seconds or longer (like Ann Voskamp)
  3. Text him at work to say how much you’re looking forward to that night (here are 365 texts if you need ideas).
  4. Make your spouse’s favorite dinner. What a great list of ideas! I'm going to use some of these this week. My husband won't know what hit him!
  5. Take turns discussing what’s the most frustrating part of your sex life; brainstorm ways to overcome them.
  6. Think about your spouse throughout the day; focus on what attracts you most to him.
  7. Memorize Song of Solomon 5:16.
  8. Create a relaxing environment (think candles, soft music, scented lotion).
  9. Ditch the romance novels and erotica (and read this instead).
  10. Show a little A LOT of skin in the bedroom, while getting ready for bed.
  11. Write a love note to include in his lunch bag (lipstick lips optional).
  12. Try something new.
  13. Pick questions from a premarital book and get to know each other. (My husband and I use this one.)
  14. Do a Bible study on sex (or go through Passion Pursuit with ladies from your church).
  15. Dance the night away with your wedding album.
  16. Plan an adventure date together (here are some ideas to get you started).
  17. Go to bed earlier.
  18. Bring the board games into the bedroom and make up new rules.
  19. Wash each others’ feet.
  20. Read a book by a Christian author that helps you discover the joys of sex, like this one or this one.
  21. Ask each other “What’s one thing we’ve never tried but you’d like to?” As long as it’s biblical and beneficial, do it! (For more guidelines on what’s biblical and beneficial, check out this article from Authentic Intimacy.)
  22. Play Truth or Dare, using questions and dares that are all about the bedroom.
  23. Pray for each other every day,
  24. Ask each other what the highlight of your spouse’s day was.
  25. Discover each other’s love language, and then act on it! (For me, this means romance starts with ironed shirts and packed lunches.)
  26. Decorate your home with beautiful reminders that your marriage is special.
  27. Turn off the screens and go for a walk together. Hold hands.
  28. Look at old photo albums of your dating years and wedding ceremony. Recite your vows again.

sex was created by God

Sexual intimacy was created by God and it’s a beautiful thing. Let’s reclaim passion in our marriages, one bedroom at a time.

Consider this a starting point. I’d love to hear what other ideas you come up with!

This post contains my affiliate links. See our full disclosure here.

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Comments 32

  1. jenn

    29. Take a trip together away from home/the kids. My spouse and I agreed we would take a weekend away each year of our marriage. We’ve held fast for 12 years, and we hope to see the 50 states and some foreign countries along the way! 🙂 Great post and suggestions here! 🙂

    1. Post

      Yes! What a great idea! My husband and I have tried to do the same thing. But I love your idea to visit all 50 states. That would be such a fun way to work toward accomplishing a goal together while also building intimacy. 🙂

  2. Michelle White

    Thank you so much for your post on this touchy topic. I believe so much in this subject and believe women need to know what a healthy sex life with their spouse is and what God says is right that I will be leading a bible study at my church using the Passion Pursuit. I would love to enter the giveaway but unfortunately I do not see anywhere on this page the entry link if you could send it to me that would be wonderful. Thank you again.

    1. Post

      Hi Michelle. I’m sorry you were having issues with the entry form. I emailed you a direct link to the form. Let me know if you have any other questions!

    1. Post
  3. Sandra L Houtz

    Thank you for this wonderful articles and the more wonderful tips and ideas to make my marriage more exciting! Looking forward to implementing some 🙂

  4. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    These are great ideas; I hope that couples will be printing them out, and going through the list.

    For what it’s worth, I’d add this…if a problem develops, don’t let it build into something that can’t be fixed. Don’t become physically unfamiliar, because sometimes the road back can just be too long.

    Get counseling if you need it. Just don’t ignore problems.

  5. Bonnie Way

    These are great ideas! And thanks for bringing this up. I was excited to see this book. Last year I also read The Fantasy Fallacy by Shannon Ethridge, which is another good book that tackles why Fifty Shades is so bad for women and marriages. 🙂

  6. Becky

    I send my husband texts or emails to let him know I am thinking of him , appreciate him, and can’t wait for him to get home. Every few months we ask the grandparents to take our two school age girls for a night or two, so we can spend time alone. I lift him up in prayer often and we remind each other that even with all of the struggles and aggravations we face…we are very, very blessed.

  7. Rachel Quigley

    I really like that idea of kissing for 10 sec or longer each day. I find that we become so busy throughout the day that most of the time it’s just a peck on the lips instead of really kissing.

    Massage at night is a great way to relax and unwind.

  8. Cordelia

    I heard these ladies speak on Focus On The Family Wednesday and Thursday. Oh, I prayed ladies would allow the Holy Spirit to speak to their hearts and have the courage to turn, and walk away from the enemy of our soul. May we have discernment from God. Thank you for listing Godly ways to interact with our husbands.

  9. Shala@HomeSweetGrown.com

    These are really great ideas. It is so easy to get stuck in the mundanes of life and forget to have fun together.
    We recently bought a tandem bike and have been having fun riding together. We’ve talked about getting one or 12 years since we rode one through the streets of Key West on our Honeymoon.

  10. Rachel

    Wonderful tips. I’m currently reading Happy Habits for Every Couple. It offers 21-project based ideas to bless your spouse. It sounds similar to the book your reading.

  11. Carol

    I appreciate all of the suggestions you have listed here. I believe that sex is meant to be a good, rich and deep experience within marriage. One of the sensitive issues is the effect that the birth control pill can have on sex. It is documented to decrease a woman’s libido. Neither I nor my daughters have used hormonal birth control–and we don’t have huge families. Both daughters have taken NFP classes–not the outdated rhythm method–and say that it has deepened the intimacy they have with their husbands.

  12. Mary Geisen

    Great ideas and an important topic to share about for all couples to better understand that our sexuality is good and relationships can be beautiful when we allow God to be the center. Thank you for linking up to The Weekend Brew.

  13. ~Karrilee~

    What a great and needed post! Lots of practical tips and ideas, too! Great job, my friend! Let’s keep the romance alive and honor God at the same time! Powerful truths!

  14. Jody

    What a great post, I agree we are letting the media take something that God meant for good and turn it to evil. I love your list of ideas and plan on filling a few!

  15. Amanda

    Thank you for posting this. I struggle with intimacy in my marriage, and I’m trying to work through why and push past it. I do think there was a stigma to sex in general that I heard from church growing up – that it’s dirty and sinful – and when I got married, it stuck with me, even though now it’s OK. I do think there needs to be more of a dialog about it, but it’s so hard to talk about, so I appreciate your openness on it here.

  16. Jen

    Excellent ideas here! I’m pinning to my marriage board so I can share with readers and have it to come back to later, too. 🙂 Stopping by from the CWB facebook share thread.
    Jen @ Being Confident of This

  17. Sarah Hillman

    I stumbled across your page when researching something for work, and was pleasantly surprised to discover others out there in the world who share my convictions.

    Incidentally, this is a subject very close to my sister’s heart and she has written a book addressing this exact subject matter and her journey with the Lord through healing. If you are interested in having a look…


  18. heena

    sharing the chocolate mouth to mouth is the great thing which can be added here… :).. we do such stupid things, and taking bath together..

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